Measuring success by outcomes seems reasonable. The problem is that optimizing for the metric often moves you away from what the metric was supposed to give you.

Most people have a definition of success. The question is whether they chose it — or inherited it from someone else without realizing it.

Knowing what you value is necessary. It's not sufficient. Every value exists alongside other values that constrain it — and choosing between them is the real work.

Most people would say they know what matters to them. Ask them to describe a typical Tuesday, and a different picture emerges. Here's a framework for closing the gap.