"BUY EXPERIENCES, NOT THINGS" IS TOO SIMPLE
- Derek Hagen
- 2 hours ago
- 3 min read
❝There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.❞ -Peter Drucker
When the memory isn't about the thing, but the thing made the memory possible, that's usually money well spent.
"BUY EXPERIENCES, NOT THINGS" SOUNDS RIGHT
You’ve probably heard the advice: buy experiences, not things. I've indeed written about it.
And it makes sense. Experiences often involve other people, give us something to look forward to, and leave us with memories that last longer than most purchases.
If you're interested in values-based financial planning, here's how to work with a Money Quotient-trained financial life planner.
When you think about spending as anticipation, the moment itself, and the memory afterward, experiences often feel like the clear winner.
But the advice becomes problematic when taken too literally.
It creates a false dichotomy.
WHY EXPERIENCES VS. THINGS ISN'T A CLEAN DIVIDE
A television might look like “just a thing.”
But if it enables weekly family movie nights, shared rituals, or time together, it’s really supporting an experience.
Skiing is clearly an experience... but it can’t happen without skis.
Experiences and things aren’t opposites. They’re often connected.
WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT THE PURCHASE ENABLES
A more helpful way to think about spending is this: Is the purchase made for an experience, or instead of one?
Many things that look purely material on the surface are actually experience-enablers.
Skiing is the experience. Skis are the enabler.
Hiking boots can be about fashion or about getting outside consistently.
Kitchen tools can be about identity, or about shared meals, creativity, and connection.
The question isn’t whether something is a “thing.” It’s whether it supports the life you actually want to live.
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Money is the number one source of stress in people's lives, above work, health, and kids. People with money disorders typically have faulty beliefs about money and cannot change their behavior even though they know they should. |
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WHEN BUYING THE THING ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE
Sometimes renting an experience-enabling item makes sense. Other times, owning it does.
One simple way to think about this is cost per use.
If you ski once, renting equipment might cost $50. Buying thousands of dollars of gear for a single weekend probably isn’t worth it.
But if you ski weekly for months, ownership lowers the cost per use and adds convenience, consistency, and commitment.
The math matters. But so does what repeated use creates:
anticipation
skill development
identity reinforcement
memories that accumulate over time
FROM SPENDING RULES TO SPENDING CLARITY
Any simple rule about spending deserves caution. We’re very good at justifying purchases after the fact.
That’s why questions like “Do I need this?” or even “Does this enable an experience?” don’t always get to the heart of it.
A new pair of skis enables skiing... unless you already own last year’s skis and are really buying novelty, status, or optimization.
The real goal isn’t restriction. It’s clarity.
When you understand how your spending connects to the experiences you value, money becomes less about guilt or discipline, and more about alignment.
That’s where meaningful spending lives.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Ariely, Dan: Predictably Irrational
Clements, Jonathan: How to Think About Money
Dunn, Elizabeth & Michael Norton: Happy Money
Gilbert, Daniel: Stumbling on Happiness
Hagen, Derek: Your Money, Your Values, and Your Life
Housel, Morgan: The Psychology of Money
Robin, Vicki: Your Money or Your Life
