WHEN LIFE DOESN'T GO AS PLANNED
- Derek Hagen
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
❝It's not the note you play that's the wrong note; it's the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.❞ -Miles Davis
❝We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents.❞ -Bob Ross
Jazz pianist Herbie Hancock tells a story about screwing up on stage while playing with Miles Davis. He hit a completely wrong chord. It was so wrong that he thought he ruined Miles' solo, and even the entire show. But Miles paused and responded with something unexpected. He made it sound like the chord was what they meant to do.
Herbie judged the moment as a mistake. But Miles didn’t. He treated it as something new that happened.
It reminded me of watching Bob Ross on PBS as a kid. If a brushstroke went somewhere he didn’t intend, he didn’t stop or panic. He just smiled and added a new tree or cloud to make it fit.
Miles Davis and Bob Ross lived by the same principle. Life throws us something unexpected, and we get to decide what happens next.
PLANS CHANGE, AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST
You probably don’t need a story about a jazz musician or a painter to understand this. Life is full of moments that catch us off guard. Maybe you’ve been working toward something like a career goal, a financial milestone, or a new habit, and then something unexpected knocks it off course.
Plans fall apart. Timing shifts. Something you were sure about suddenly changes shape.
And in that moment, the question becomes: What now?
Sometimes, we replay the moment in our heads, wishing it had gone differently. But no amount of wishing makes that possible.
Whatever happened, happened.
That moment is already part of your story. So the next step isn’t about undoing it. It’s about choosing what comes next.
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Resilience is the ability to bounce back (or grow) from stress and adversity. The ability to maintain physical, mental, and emotional well-being in the face of setbacks. Learn more about how resilient you are. |
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ACCEPTANCE WITH YES... AND...
Improvisers, whether in jazz, painting, or comedy, know the secret: you work with what’s already on the table.
Improv comedians use a simple principle called "Yes, and…" Whatever happens in the scene, they say yes to it and then add to it.
They don’t argue with the scene. They don’t wish it were different. They accept it and move forward.
In life, too, acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means saying, “This happened.” And then asking, “What’s next?”
When life doesn’t go the way we hoped, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed, especially if we’ve been trying hard, learning something new, or building something important.
But what if we treated those moments the way Miles treated Herbie’s chord? Or the way Bob Ross treated an accidental brush stroke?
What if we could meet life’s curveballs with curiosity instead of criticism?
That shift from judging what happened to responding to what’s next can open up space.
Space to grow. Space to feel something new. Space to find the next note.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Dalai Lama & Howard Cutler: The Art of Happiness
Hanh, Thich Nhat: No Mud, No Lotus
Hanh, Thich Nhat: You Are Here
Hanson, Rick: Hardwiring Happiness
Hanson, Rick & Forrest Hanson: Resilient
Hanson, Rick & Richard Mendius: Buddha’s Brain
Harris, Dan: 10% Happier
Harris, Sam: Waking Up
