THE HIDDEN POWER OF COMPROMISE
- Derek Hagen
- Sep 18
- 3 min read
❝There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.❞ -Thomas Sowell
Happiness comes from the trade-offs we choose.
A STORY ABOUT CHOICES
I remember sitting on the fourth floor of the library, looking out over campus. It was one of my favorite spots. I was studying for another economics exam, exhausted from too many classes and a full-time job at the bank. Graduation was coming, and I didn’t know what was next.
So far, the “next step” had always been laid out for me. Finish high school. Go to college. Get the degree. But now? Should I go to grad school? Get a job? Try law school?
I asked my professors, hoping for an answer. Instead, they asked me a question:
“Derek, what do you want to do?”
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I froze. Nobody had ever asked me that before. I wanted them to tell me the solution. Instead, I realized there wasn’t one. Each path came with opportunity... but also trade-offs.
Life works the same way. We can do many things, but not all of them. Every yes comes with a no.
WHY COMPROMISE MATTERS
We like to think we can maximize happiness in every part of life: work, family, health, leisure, and relationships.
But resources are limited. Not everything fits.
When we face compromise, it can feel like a loss. Psychology calls this loss aversion: losing something feels worse than gaining something of equal value feels good. That’s why lowering one “slider” feels bad, even if it raises another that matters more.
The truth is, compromise isn’t about settling. It’s about focusing on what matters most.
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Money is the number one source of stress in people's lives, above work, health, and kids. People with money disorders typically have faulty beliefs about money and cannot change their behavior even though they know they should. |
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FROM WANTS TO PRIORITIES
You can't do or have everything. There's too much we want to do and have. We have to choose carefully what to do with our time, money, and energy.
How do we prioritize? That's where values come in. Your values act as a filter that makes choices meaningful.
For example, maybe you love your hobby but also want more family time. Lowering your leisure slider to raise the family slider can feel like a loss at first, but in the bigger picture, it creates more life satisfaction.
Life isn’t about maxing out every domain. It’s about making choices that reflect your values.
COMPROMISE AS A STRATEGY
Compromise isn’t failure, it’s strategy. By lowering one slider, you free up resources to raise another. You turn unlimited wants into meaningful choices.
The next time you face a tough decision, ask yourself: What am I gaining? What’s worth the trade?
Because just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Adams, Scott: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big
Ariely, Dan: Predictably Irrational
Ariely, Dan & Jeff Kreisler: Dollars and Sense
Klontz, Brad, Rick Kahler & Ted Klontz: Facilitating Financial Health
Manson, Mark: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
