SETBACKS VS. OBSTACLES

❝Setbacks pave the way for comebacks. Obstacles are part of the journey.❞ -unknown

Some challenges knock us back. Others were always part of the journey.

WHEN LIFE DOESN'T GO AS SMOOTHLY AS PLANNED

I stopped at a red light, frustrated.

It was the third red light on a short drive from my house to the gym. Traffic felt heavier than usual. Everything seemed to be slowing me down. I caught myself thinking, If it weren’t for all these people, I’d already be there.

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Then it hit me.

Expecting no traffic is its own form of misery.

Streetlights and traffic aren’t failures of the system. They are the system. They come with the privilege of driving. But in that moment, I felt like I was owed a perfect commute and that these interruptions were setting me back.

That’s when I realized I was treating obstacles as if they were setbacks.

Recognizing the difference matters. It changes how we prepare, how we respond, and how quickly we recover.

WHY STRUGGLE IS PART OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE

Like it or not, struggle is part of being human.

You will feel disappointment. You will experience frustration. You will face situations that don’t go your way. And while that’s uncomfortable, it’s also where meaning tends to show up.

Think about your proudest story.

The one you tell when someone asks what you’ve overcome. The one that comes up at a dinner party. Chances are, it didn’t involve things going smoothly. It involved effort, uncertainty, and pushing through something difficult.

Struggle and meaning are often linked.

Looking back, that connection is easy to see. Looking forward, it leads to a harder, but more honest, question: What are you willing to struggle for?

Because meaning usually lives on the other side of challenge.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SETBACKS AND OBSTACLES

Not all challenges are the same.

A setback is something unexpected. It comes out of nowhere. It interrupts your plans and actually knocks you backward.

That flat tire you didn’t see coming. The illness that derails your routine. The surprise expense that throws off your month.

An obstacle, on the other hand, is expected.

Obstacles are part of the game.

Traffic is an obstacle. Market volatility is an obstacle. Competition in your career is an obstacle. An outside observer wouldn’t be surprised that these things showed up.

When we mistake obstacles for setbacks, we waste energy being angry about things that were always going to be there.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back (or grow) from stress and adversity. The ability to maintain physical, mental, and emotional well-being in the face of setbacks. Learn more about how resilient you are.

WHAT SETBACKS AND OBSTACLES TEACH US OVER TIME

Whether it’s a setback or an obstacle, both can make us better if we let them.

Each challenge gives us practice. Practice at problem-solving. Practice at regulating emotion. Practice at adapting.

Just like learning any skill, repetition matters.

No one becomes resilient without reps.

That doesn’t mean we should seek out hardship. It simply means we can appreciate the hidden benefit of the hard moments we didn’t choose.

You don’t get good at handling discomfort without ever feeling it.

LEARNING TO EXPECT THE HARD PARTS

Setbacks knock us off course. Obstacles are part of the terrain.

Both can be frustrating. Both can slow us down. And both can strengthen us over time.

The difference is this: Setbacks require recovery. Obstacles require expectation.

You can’t predict which setback will show up next.

But over a long enough timeline, setbacks themselves are predictable.

Flat tires. Bad weeks. Missed goals. Market swings. Life interruptions. Individually, they feel random. Taken together, they form a single obstacle: the reality that things won’t go exactly as planned.

When we learn to tell them apart, we stop being surprised by life being life and start meeting it with a little more steadiness.

You get one life; live intentionally.

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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES

Adams, Scott: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

Hanh, Thich Nhat: No Mud, No Lotus

Hanson, Rick & Forrest Hanson: Resilient

Irvine, William: A Slap in the Face

Irvine, William: The Stoic Challenge

Reivich, Karen & Andrew Shatte: The Resilience Factor

Wallace, David Foster: This is Water