DO THE MATH

Derek Hagen
6 minutes ago
4 min read

Hand-drawn equation: Total Experiences = Times Per Year x Number of Years; illustrates how to calculate finite remaining experiences

❝You are still alive. Act like it.❞ -Rudy Francisco, "Complainers"

Your experiences are finite. Most people never count them.

We're getting close to the lake where we plan to have lunch. It's hot, but the shade from the trees makes it feel nice. Another hiker comes the other way with her dog. Her dog runs up to ours, and the chase is on... through the stream, around the trees, around and around. It's fun to watch.

I could spend this moment thinking about where we'll find a spot for lunch, how long the drive back down the mountain will take, and whether that restaurant we want to try will still be open.

Or I could watch my dog run.

Her name is Bingo.

Single hand-drawn stick figure dog; introduces Bingo as the personal example anchoring the article's math

We hike about eight times a year, so here's how many hikes we can experience with her.

Dense grid of hand-drawn stick figure dogs; represents all possible hikes remaining with a dog

And we've already had 12 and a half years of hiking with her.

Grid of hand-drawn stick figure dogs, most crossed out in red; illustrates how many hikes with a dog remain after years already passed

Doing the math, we've got about 15 hikes left with Bingo.

That knowledge helps keep me present when I'm hiking with her.

And it also applies to more than just hikes with dogs...

Prefer to watch?

TIME IS A LIMITED RESOURCE

Here's the uncomfortable version of this: everything ends.

Your time is finite. Your loved ones' time is finite. The experiences you share with them... also finite. Most of us know this abstractly. Almost none of us feel it concretely until something forces us to.

You don't have to wait for a diagnosis, a loss, or a deathbed to feel it. You can do the math now.

We have limited time. We get to choose how we spend it. Those two facts together are either paralyzing or clarifying - and the difference is whether you've actually looked at the numbers.

Four stick figures aging in sequence, each with a progressively emptier hourglass above; illustrates time running out across a lifetime

DO THE MATH

Think about the experiences that matter most to you.

Not abstractly. Specifically. Hiking with your dog. Dinner with your parents. Vacations with your kids while they still want to come. Happy hour with your closest friend.

List of ten experiences under the heading "Experience," including dinner with your parents, hiking with your dog, and vacations with your children

Now do this:

Estimate how many times per year you have that experience. Estimate how many years you have left to have it. Multiply.

That's your number.

Grid of repeated "Experience" text filling the page; illustrates the full count of a given experience before any have passed

Cross out the ones already behind you. What's left is what you have.

Grid of "Experience" text with upper rows crossed out in red; blue oval circles the remaining rows, labeled in blue "This Is All You Have Left"

If you see your father six times a year and he's 78 with maybe two years left, you have 12 dinners. Not "some dinners." Not "I should see him more." Twelve.

If your kids are 10 and 12 and you take one family vacation a year until the youngest leaves for college, you have about 10 trips left. Six before they're adults. Maybe three or four before they'd rather do something else.

Sketch: Grid of "Experience" text, top rows crossed out in red; remaining rows circled, labeled "This Is All You Have Left"

The Five Facet Mindfulness Questionnaire measures your level of mindfulness among five interrelated components. These components are observing, describing, acting with awareness, nonjudgment of inner experiences, and not reactivity to inner experiences. They can be helpful in gaining an understanding of the areas of mindfulness in which you may want to focus.

THE CHIPS ON THE TABLE

Think of each remaining experience as a chip, like a poker chip, that you exchange for the experience itself. You have a stack. Every time you have that dinner, take that hike, go on that trip, you put a chip on the table.

Hand-drawn circular chip labeled "Experience" in bold ring; represents each remaining experience as something finite to spend

The stack is finite. You can see it now if you do the math.

Sketch: single tall hand-drawn cylinder labeled "Experience"; represents a full stack of remaining experiences before time passes

Over time, the stack gets smaller. That's not morbid. It's just true. And seeing it clearly is what keeps you from spending chips on autopilot, half-present, thinking about the drive home while your dog is running through the stream.

Tall hand-drawn cylinder labeled "Experience" with arrow pointing to a much shorter cylinder; shows the experience stack shrinking over time

The stack also keeps you from leaving chips on the table. Some people have the experiences available to them and never cash them in. They're too busy, too distracted, or assume there will be time later. The chip doesn't expire on a specific date. But the stack does run out.

Sketch: three-panel stick figure comic: figure says "I'm going to go waste some time," sees a circled "Experience" chip, then says "I've changed my mind"

The number is uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. But it's a starting point, not a sentence.

You can change the equation. You can get more chips.

Want more dinners with your father? Go more often. Want more hikes? That's a reason to invest in your health now. The math shows you what's at stake.

You still get to decide what to do about it.

NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

The math only works if it changes something.

For some people, just seeing the number is enough. Twelve dinners with your father hits differently than "I should visit more." The number creates urgency that the intention never did.

For others, there's something in the way. A limiting belief about money, a job that consumes everything, a relationship pattern that keeps the important things perpetually deferred. If that's you, the math isn't the last step. It's the first one. It shows you what you're losing and points you toward what needs to change.

Large circle "All Possible Experiences" with three arrows pointing to smaller circle "Your Experiences"; arrows labeled "Be Intentional"

Either way, the question the math forces is the same one your financial life should be answering: what do you actually want, and are your time and money funding that... or something else?

Your money is a tool. So is your time. Both are finite. Both can be pointed at the life you want or at a life you drifted into without deciding.

Figure out what the experiences are. Do the math. Then get the money and the time to follow.

Sketch: Horizontal lifebar from Birth to Death, left portion filled black, right portion empty; labeled "Be Intentional" above the remaining white section

The stack is smaller than you think. And Bingo isn't going to hike forever.

You get one life; live intentionally.

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